The Time I Got an Erotic Massage in Prague

This is probably the first post I’m going to make here that is going to set me up for serious judgment, but I’m just being honest about the things I do when I travel.  Happy ending massages aren’t on my normal itinerary, but something I wanted to try out in a place that it is legal and full of gorgeous women.

I did look this up before I went to the Czech Republic as an option, but it kind of happened out of nighttime boredom.

I was only backpacking in Prague for a couple of days.  The first day I got there in the afternoon on a flight from Rome.  When I checked into my hostel I tried to find a time that I could do laundry, but the only time I could do it was 8 pm that evening.   I was in desperate need of some clean tee shirts so I just took that time and went out exploring.

That day I hobbled all around on my broken leg and crutch, seeing as much as I could and eating like a king for barely any money.  8:00 I shuffled back to the hostel to clean my clothes.  Exciting night huh?  It was Thursday at least so I wasn’t wasting a weekend.

The washer and dryer automatically set a timer based on weight, and I guess I overloaded it because it took about 2 and a half hours.  2 and a half hours that I had to sit in the rec room waiting by myself.

I still hadn’t met anyone in Prague at this point.  The only roommate in my 6 person hostel room was super anti-social.  I just wandered around all day and didn’t make an effort to make any friends, so I had nothing to do that evening.  My clothes were probably going to be done closer to 11:00 pm so I could either go to bed “early” or find some night time entertainment.

After a day of casually sipping extremely cheap beer, I wasn’t really in the mood to go out drinking.  What else is there to do at night in a foreign city that isn’t drinking?  I was rubbing my non-broken leg that was tense from being overused and dreaming of a real massage.  Then I thought about a special massage.  The male brain jumps to sexual situations pretty easily.

All I had to do was look up “erotic massages” on my phone’s maps app and a ton of options came up.  Most of them were either closed or closing soon, but there were a few open until 2:00 am.

I was too embarrassed to make the phone call to these places, but some of them had their number listed saying you could text them on WhatsApp.  I shot off texts to three different locations to see what the price was for an hour and if I could still come in that night.  I went off to change my laundry over and came back to one text from “Paradise Massage.”

They were still open and told me which 3 girls were working that night.  I checked the website and almost fell out of my chair.  All three of them could be supermodels.  I checked that the price was 1500 CZK and told them I’d be there in an hour.

1500 CZK was about $65 in American money.  Just a massage alone at that point was worth that much money.

So now I had something to look forward to while I was impatiently watching my clothes flop around in the dryer.

The machine ended a little earlier than planned, so I had some time to kill.  I could have just went straight to the massage place, but I didn’t want to look too eager 🙂

I’m a glutton for punishment, so I walked all the way there with the help of my one crutch.  It was a good opportunity to see a part of the city I wasn’t going to make it to and see how it looked at night.

On the way, I needed to stop at an ATM since I didn’t have enough money on hand for this.  I took out 2,000 CZK for the massage, tip, and extra money in case I needed a cab or something.

The closer I got, the more anxious and nervous I got.

There were people walking around outside of where it looked like the address was, so I looped around until the coast was clear.  I got to the address and there wasn’t any sign saying where to go.  There was just a large door opened halfway that led to a pitch-black alleyway.  I tried calling and texting the number, but they weren’t picking up.

At this point, a smart person would have left, rather than trying to explore a dark space in a foreign city in the middle of the night.  Not me though!

80% of me didn’t want to be rude and cancel the last minute after I told them I was coming.  10% of me just wanted to go someplace that I didn’t have to stand on my bad leg anymore.  The other 10%, well that was the part of me that got worked up with the idea of an erotic massage for the last couple of hours.

I put my phone on flashlight mode and crept into the alley.  About 10 feet in there was a handwritten sign that said “MASSAGE” with an arrow pointing up.

Now I’m about to walk up some creepy unlit stairs with handwritten signs telling me where to go.  I already had my scary movie moments at the Rome hospital, so now I was really pushing my luck.  Up the stairs, I went.

I got up one flight and a tall gorgeous brunette came to the top of the stairs to welcome me.  “Massage?” she asked me.

“Oh, yes please.”

She introduced herself as Lili and took me by the hand to follow her to a couch in a hallway and told me to wait.  I expected this to be a run-down place, but it reminded me of the regular massage places back home.  There were just a lot more Buddhist symbols all over.  And a giant fish tank.

Lili came back, but she brought 3 other women with her.  They were all wearing tiny robes that revealed a lot of their bodies.  The least attractive was still way out of my league.  They all introduced themselves and Lili asked me who I preferred and if I’d want more than one.

There was a brief moment where I thought about asking for 2 of them to massage me.  Luckily the smarter, less horny, Mike from earlier knew to only take out what was needed at the ATM.  I’m a sucker for an upsell.

At the moment, this seemed like the toughest decision of my life.  I felt like I had built up a rapport with Lili on the way in, and she was incredibly beautiful, so I chose her.  She smiled and took me by the hand to the massage room.

She told me the 1-hour nude massage would be $1,700.   I felt uncomfortable haggling at this point even though I was told a cheaper price earlier.   I also did the math quickly and that was only about $9 more.

Lili pointed to the shower in the corner of the room and told me to wash up and then lay on the bed in the middle of the room.  She stepped out to give me some privacy, which is kind of ironic.

I tore off my clothes and jumped in the shower.  It was a large shower up on steps, but with no door.  The showerhead was a handheld one that I fumbled around with.  With the lack of a door, I accidentally shot water out of it and soaked my clothes.  Idiot.

I’ve never dried myself so fast with a towel before. I’m surprised I didn’t give myself rugburn from the towel.  Then I went to the bed and laid there on my stomach completely exposed.

The bed was luckily very clean.  It was two layers of very thick sheets that at least smelled like they had just been cleaned.

It was a strange feeling laying there with my ass out in a giant room waiting for a stranger to come in.  I could feel my heartbeat laying there waiting.

Lili finally came in carrying towels and massage oil.  I half-turned and gave a very awkward hello.

She dimmed the lights and moved beside me.

The wall in front of me was a floor to ceiling mirror so I could watch her take off her robe oil herself up before me.  My soldier was immediately at attention, but uncomfortably because I was laying on my stomach.

It started out with a normal back massage.  She was actually giving me a real massage, working out the knots in my upper back.  The only difference between this and other massages I’ve gotten in the past up to this point was that my bare ass was in view and she wasn’t wearing any clothes either.

Lili moved down to my legs and kept teasing the family jewels by grazing her hands against them with a deep upper thigh massage.

After a bit of the regular massage, she straddled one of my legs and kept the massage going.  Again, I had the mirror view so this was a beautiful sight for me.

She added some more massage oil to her body and started to slide up and down me as she massaged me with her hands.  I didn’t realize how much I’d like that.

There was a lot more of this and a lot more of the teasing until she told me to roll over.

There I was on my back with at least part of me pointing to the ceiling.  Was she going to just go for it and end the encounter?

No. She kept going with a real massage, pulling my arm out and massaging my bicep and chest.  She managed to do this seductively, yet therapeutically.

Again with the legs and the upper, upper thigh rub to tease entice nether regions.  Then she started the sliding again, with a focus on bringing her breasts up and down my crotch.

Her hands made their way up with her breasts and there was an actual penis massage.  It was more than just a regular run of the mill HJ.  She was sensual about it, not rushing to get me out the door.

There is only so long a man can hold out after the kind of build-up and she brought that part of the massage to a successful ending with her hands and her body.

Lili closed her eyes and at least faked a look like she was pleased with herself.  Her hands moved more slowly now, really milking the moment.

There may have been a bit of a mess so she reached for a towel and wiped me off and then herself.  She moved behind my head and continued to massage my neck and my shoulder as I was settling down from our encounter.

“How do you feel?” Lili whispered.

Something that wasn’t words, I muttered back.

“Take your time and feel free to use the shower. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.”

She put the robe back on and walked out of the door.  My head was still spinning as I laid there staring at the ceiling thinking, “Did I just pay for a handjob?”  Then answering myself with “Yep.  Worth it.”

I stumbled over to the shower, again shooting water on my clothes like an idiot.

Lili came back in as I was struggling to put my air cast back on my calf and offered to help.  She had already done enough for me so I declined.

She walked me out to the front door, gave me a deep hug, thanked me, and wished me a good night.

I slept like a baby when I got back to the hostel.

Anticipated Q&A

Is Prostitution Legal in Prague

The short answer is yes.  In Europe, there are 8 countries that have prostitution fully legal with regulation, a handful of countries that outlaw it entirely, and a few that it is legal but unregulated.  The Czech Republic falls into the latter.

Will I do this again?

Probably.  I’m not exactly going to put it on my itinerary, but I do like a massage and I do like beautiful women doing certain things to me.

Where do you find a happy ending massage?

You can probably find this in any country, legal or not, but you’re taking your chances in the illegal countries.  If you’re in a place like Prague all you have to do is Google “tantric massage” or “erotic massage” and you’ll find the website of the places that offer it.  They are legit businesses so they don’t have to be shady about it or anything.

What’s the difference between a tantra massage and an erotic massage?

I have no idea.  I imagine there is such a thing as a real tantra massage that people take seriously, but most places you’ll find these two interchangeable.  The tantra massage they at least pretend there is something besides just the happy ending that you’re leading up to.

Why did I write about something “perverted” or “private” like this?

I’ve got nothing to hide here.  I want to keep writing honestly about the things I do and try on my travels to either entertain or educate travelers.